Last week of first trimester!

then i can truly celebrate, and at least take a breather. my risk of miscarriage will go down 80%. i am trying to relax and enjoy it, let it feel a bit more real. i'm just getting frustrated with clothes. winter was easy - big sweaters hide everything and are cozy. now with warmer weather i know i won't fit my cute t's or short skirts. i'm not maternity wear yet, but i don't feel like buying clothes one size up in the meantime. i am trying to live in jeans and big cardigans, lightweight long t's. eager to pop so at least i'll look pregnant and can start buying maternity clothes.

finally - endocrinologist appointment

now that i have insurance, i can FINALLY see an endocrinologist. i am very persistent when it comes to getting in to see doctors and i kept pushing the fact that i'm a pregnant diabetic. i need help adjusting my insulin. it's impossible to get an appointment with a doc who is on staff at the hospital where i will deliver, but i figured this is better than nothing. she can consult with my OB and high-risk ob, and if need be, i can deliver at the hospital where she is on staff. it has been so nervewracking, feeling all alone in this. trying to manage diabetes on a good day with no bumps in the road is a challenge. managing it while being pregnant is just scary. i need guidance. thankfully it hasn't been too bad and thankfully our little sweet pea looks just fine. still, what a relief. also, i am eligible for an insulin pump upgrade on 4/12. i can get an even more advanced technological device that tracks my sugar 24/7. it's a sensor that looks like a little button that i insert every few days. it communicates with my pump and tells me when my sugar is going low/high so i can manage anything before it becomes a problem. it's amazing. it's like having a pancreas. it will help me during the latter part of the pregnancy which is better than nothing. at least i'll have that for baby #2. yes, i already think about baby #2, things i will do differently next time around. everything is a learning experience. right now i'm really trying to enjoy this one. it's finally sinking in a bit, as i tell more people (usually random strangers - cashiers, pharmacists ("is this ok for pregnant women? i'm 12 weeks pregnant..."), etc.) and as we have very positive ultrasounds, it is finally sinking in. :)

Ultrasound pic #2

Second Ultrasound! 12 weeks, 3 days

So everything looks perfect, beautiful. The baby was sleeping, heartbeat was 155. He/she woke up and was doing all kinds of water acrobatics. It made all the wait worthwhile. I'm feeling better, less nauseous, less fatigued (overall). I'm coping with the weight gain and felt better to not look at the scale. Unless there is a problem, I don't need to know. I know I'm gaining weight and I have to, but I don't need a number in my head. As long as I know baby and I are healthy, I'm fine. It was such a relief to see (and hear from my OB) that everything is normal, healthy. The exam done by a male doctor wasn't as anxiety-provoking as I'd envisioned. It was not really that bad. My group consists of 3 males and 2 females, so I don't know who will deliver Baby Espo, but I will have met with everyone in the group. I like that. Everyone was very friendly. It was a nice visit. We go back on 3/30 for another ultrasound. I guess that's the perk of being high-risk - many chances to see the baby! I will feel even more relief when the first trimester ends. I'm further along than the last ultrasounded dated me; I'm at 12 weeks, 4 days today. So I don't have that much more this trimester. Phew!! Still in regular clothes, with tight waists and occasional first button undone.

We're expecting!!

Baby Espo is coming on (or around, give or take 2 weeks) 9/28/10! This is a total surprise, and a complete blessing. We have our second prenatal visit on Monday and will get to see our little sweet pea again. Will have to update this later with more details. We are both very excited and anxious to see our baby.